After a breakup, do you return gifts or ask your ex to give back your gifts? Asking for gifts back can be a tough decision, especially if the gift was given out of love and with no obligations. Asking for gifts back could be seen as an insult to your ex’s feelings. Therefore, you must first understand how your ex would feel and if you would want to be part of the pain before you ask for your gifts back.
Is It Okay To Ask For Gifts Back?
Suddenly breaking up can leave many items caught at the center, mainly if you lived together. Gifts don’t need to be returned, but if you had given your ex your family heirlooms such as your grandmother’s wedding ring with the hope that your relationship will last, you could ask them to give them back. Many people love force returning gifts to make a statement, although it may rub your ex the wrong way. If your ex hasn’t asked for their gifts back, you don’t have to return them, but kindly avoid the drama and give the gifts back if they ask.
Deciding Whether To Ask For Gifts Back After A Breakup
If you are wondering whether to ask for gifts back after a break, take time to make up your mind. The following tips might help you make a decision;
1. Take Things Slowly
If your relationship is over, you may get tempted to ask your ex to return the gifts you gave, especially if they were expensive items like cars, houses, or family heirlooms. Asking for gifts back can be seen as a way of being rude, inconsiderate, and rejecting your ex. It’s vital to give yourself and your ex some time to process the breakup and your feelings towards them before you react. Taking time will also allow you to think about why you gifted them in the first place.
2. Revaluate Your Relationship Status
Before you ask for gifts back, clearly understand your relationship before you broke things up or ended the relationship. If your relationship was long-term, then you may want them to keep the gifts until your ex gets an actual reason to return them or throw them away. However, if you didn’t have a serious relationship and there was no commitment, the items may not mean a lot to you, especially if you gave them out of pity or friendship. Unless you want to ask them out of spite, there is no reason to do so.
3. Are Those Items Worth Asking Back?
Asking for gifts back may seem fake, but your ex may feel worse keeping something precious to you, especially heirlooms. Gifts are a reminder of a failed relationship with someone who is not in your life anymore. If your ex is insignificant to you, you can ask for your valuable items back; however, if your ex means a lot to you, you may spare them the pain of being asked to return the gifts for the sake of future friendship. You should determine if the items are worth taking back, and if you gave them out of love, it would be rude to ask for them.
4. Avoid Being Emotional About It
Breakups cause both good and bad emotions to run high for both parties involved in the relationship. Therefore, you should stay calm and level-headed in how you approach any decision you want to make. Avoid making an impulsive decision that is regrettable afterward, especially if you involve your emotions.
5. Think About What It Cost You To Get Those Gifts For Your Ex In The First Place
If you were willing to spend cash on things meant for them, then it proves that those items meant something to you, and you may have done it because you loved them. So, keep in mind what you had to go through to buy those items.
6. Think About How You Will Feel When You Ask Them Back
After a breakup, you may want to ask your gifts back just to hurt your ex. Before you ask for the gifts back, think about how you will feel when you have them back. Will they be emotionally hurtful, especially if the two of you shared the present, or will you feel nothing having them back? If the items bring back positive memories, you may want to ask them back but remember your ex will feel hurt in the process. If they emotionally hurt you, you can let your ex have them instead of making yourself go through emotional turmoil.
How To Get Your Gifts Back After A Breakup
After a breakup, you will start realizing how much your ex didn’t deserve the gifts you bought for them, and you will get tempted to ask them back. If you feel that way, you are not alone. Below are some tips for dealing with such a sticky situation.
1. Wait For Your Rto Subside
Maybe your breakup was without too much drama and amicable, in which case the best thing to do is discuss how your valuable gifts will be returned. However, if there were harsh words from either side, it would be wise to let both of you cool off before you start asking for gifts back. One of the biggest mistakes you can make after breaking up is to storm over, demanding your gifts back to hurt your ex or as a way to try and get back together. If you are still quite angry because of the breakup, you should give yourself time to chill out before you go picking your gifts.
If you break up at your ex’s house, you have an exception as you have the opportunity to grab your gifts before heading out the door. But remember that this is best done when things are much more civil as you don’t want to scream and throw things as you look for your gifts.
2. Avoid Waiting Too Long
Cooling off also has a time limit. Please do not wait for months to pass before you ask for your things, as you will be drawing the breakup longer than it is necessary. If you wait for a long time to ask for the gifts back, it may look like you didn’t really care about the gifts and just came up with an excuse of reconnecting with your ex because you miss him. This will send the wrong message and may become the beginning of another relationship drama that will be nastier. Waiting for a few days to two weeks is the best time to start asking for gifts back.
3. Decide Whether You Really Need The Gifts
Before you call your ex to get back your gifts, decide whether you really need them. Don’t go looking for a made-up story to justify calling your ex. If you don’t need those gifts, leave them and forget about them.
If you’ve determined that you need those gifts back to help you in your healing journey, and enough time has passed that you no longer feel like fighting your ex, send them a text. Avoid calling or sending them emails. A text is better because it is the most conducive, quick, and practical mode of communication.
4. Leave Other Gifts And Only Ask For Heirlooms
An ex is under no obligation to return a gift that you gave them. Asking for everything will be offensive to your ex and add salt to the injury. But if your goal is to offend them, you may want to ask for all your gifts, even the most non-significant ones. Nonetheless, if you had given them an heirloom, it’s fair to ask them to return it.
Find A Good Place For The Gifts
Once you sort out everything and take back all the gifts you wanted from the ex, you may end up with a box of things that you probably don’t need. If the breakup is still hurting you, you can put all the items in a box and put them away, so you don’t stare at the constant reminder of them. If you don’t want to keep the stuff at your house, you can donate them for charity or sell them if they are still in good condition. If the option of burning them makes you feel better, you can go ahead and do it. There is no need to keep things that will remind you of your ex. Ultimately, though, your relationship is over, so you must decide what you want to do with all those gifts.
Keeping gifts is a matter of personal taste. Some people have a garage filled with boxes of their ex’s memorabilia. Others lit up a bonfire to burn everything and exorcise their ex out of their lives. Others may choose to keep some photos and other gifts hidden away after getting them back in a drawer. Each of these ways is ideal when dealing with the breakup only if you avoid clinging to the past.
Conclusion
Breakups are not in any way fun. After everything is over, you may want to get the gifts you gave your ex back, as leaving them with the gifts will make you unhappy. If you’re going to ask for your gifts back, consider how you will do it civilly without hurting each other.